Beyond the Moment

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Here in my world, I live in a fantasy surrounded by non-fiction that’s created a time in which I am and made room for the space in which I take. I grew into this space. From a sperm and egg to the giant being. Breathing and cycling into this world of what may or may not even exist. A life in which I no longer truly belong. A life where my mind enters a state of “becoming”. A life where governmental teachings have become living instead of being alive.

In this moment all is, and all ever will, but time slows it down and makes us perceive what isn’t more than one big explosion. We are that a snap shoot of what will never exist. A photograph of the universe’s play-out. Beyond this there is everything our minds can not perceive. And incase you’re wondering, you can not think it, because if you can think it; it is. What I’m talking about it beyond what we could even fathom. And it’s so complex it doesn’t exist, and it doesn’t exist because I can think it. The very existence of the thought of nothing makes it something.

So what is it?

We are so caught up in the trends or fashion or social media we forget that life happens beyond our puny little selfs. Someone asked me today where they might find some cute boutique clothes; first of all, I have no idea what “boutique” clothes are and secondly just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I have a fashion sense: because I have ZERO style. I don’t understand jewelry unless there’s a meaning behind wearing it. I mean what’s the point of buying expensive jewelry if it’s just for looks. How do you benefit from that other than spending your money? And that isn’t even benefiting!!! Honestly, our priorities are so out of whack it’s ridiculous.

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Thoughts on my thoughts 

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The end result I can never manage to create. I have a story, I begin to write but the words only create a long misunderstanding of what I want to say, what I want the reader to see, to understanding… it’s like having the image of the Mona Lisa in your head and drawing a stick figure upside down. I started with this beautiful story and all that comes out is misrepresented words to the new world. 

It’s like trying to write a book and all I can do is write a summary without giving away the ending because I don’t even know it. I have so much I want to share but expressing it doesn’t come easily. 
Any tips?