Beyond the Moment

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Here in my world, I live in a fantasy surrounded by non-fiction that’s created a time in which I am and made room for the space in which I take. I grew into this space. From a sperm and egg to the giant being. Breathing and cycling into this world of what may or may not even exist. A life in which I no longer truly belong. A life where my mind enters a state of “becoming”. A life where governmental teachings have become living instead of being alive.

In this moment all is, and all ever will, but time slows it down and makes us perceive what isn’t more than one big explosion. We are that a snap shoot of what will never exist. A photograph of the universe’s play-out. Beyond this there is everything our minds can not perceive. And incase you’re wondering, you can not think it, because if you can think it; it is. What I’m talking about it beyond what we could even fathom. And it’s so complex it doesn’t exist, and it doesn’t exist because I can think it. The very existence of the thought of nothing makes it something.

So what is it?

We are so caught up in the trends or fashion or social media we forget that life happens beyond our puny little selfs. Someone asked me today where they might find some cute boutique clothes; first of all, I have no idea what “boutique” clothes are and secondly just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I have a fashion sense: because I have ZERO style. I don’t understand jewelry unless there’s a meaning behind wearing it. I mean what’s the point of buying expensive jewelry if it’s just for looks. How do you benefit from that other than spending your money? And that isn’t even benefiting!!! Honestly, our priorities are so out of whack it’s ridiculous.

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Brainwashed

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All of what we read, all of what we see, hear and experience is what makes up our minds. What makes up our psyche, yet we are “free” to do as we please. How can we be free if everything we see, hear, learn experience is all making us believe or think in one way. 

Haven’t you noticed when you see a word, you start using that word for its meaning, but there are several words that could describe something yet, you choose that word because you just read it or saw it or heard it somewhere. Or a picture. If I tell you not to think about something – you think of it. And of course you’ve probably heard that before, why? Because there’s no original thought. Even the words I’m writing now you’ve heard before in some manner meaning the same thing but I’m writing them in a different way. WHats the point of anything is it’s already something? What’s the point of repeating things if it’s already happened? History repeats itself so is my life in this moment repeating all of eternity?  

I feel brainwashed – any book I read sounds corny to me. Like an adolescent and sex jokes… you just roll your eyes because you’ve heard it, done it and it’s annoying now. That how I feel about everything around me. But I can’t even stand to be around myself so where am I? 

I’m stuck between being brainwashed and freedom and freedom feels like it’s something I must do to conquer this irrationality of worlds…