Beyond the Moment

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Here in my world, I live in a fantasy surrounded by non-fiction that’s created a time in which I am and made room for the space in which I take. I grew into this space. From a sperm and egg to the giant being. Breathing and cycling into this world of what may or may not even exist. A life in which I no longer truly belong. A life where my mind enters a state of “becoming”. A life where governmental teachings have become living instead of being alive.

In this moment all is, and all ever will, but time slows it down and makes us perceive what isn’t more than one big explosion. We are that a snap shoot of what will never exist. A photograph of the universe’s play-out. Beyond this there is everything our minds can not perceive. And incase you’re wondering, you can not think it, because if you can think it; it is. What I’m talking about it beyond what we could even fathom. And it’s so complex it doesn’t exist, and it doesn’t exist because I can think it. The very existence of the thought of nothing makes it something.

So what is it?

We are so caught up in the trends or fashion or social media we forget that life happens beyond our puny little selfs. Someone asked me today where they might find some cute boutique clothes; first of all, I have no idea what “boutique” clothes are and secondly just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I have a fashion sense: because I have ZERO style. I don’t understand jewelry unless there’s a meaning behind wearing it. I mean what’s the point of buying expensive jewelry if it’s just for looks. How do you benefit from that other than spending your money? And that isn’t even benefiting!!! Honestly, our priorities are so out of whack it’s ridiculous.

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Who to Look to

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Life has shown me a new way to look at myself. I continuously look at others and what others are doing how they act, how they think, why they do things, their motivations, but I never seem to look at my own. During this new journey I have realized that I need to be within my own body, within my own mind. I need to stop focusing on the outside, whether it be my mind, body, or spirit – I need to look inside and stop my outer thoughts.

Once I begin to think about someone else I need to redirect my thoughts – what they do has no affect on me unless I allow it. I create this worry, or this distraction from myself because I allow it. I’m not “in-tune” with myself because I’m not allowing it.

I’ve been better the last few days with listening to when I’m hungry and when I’m full. I’ve felt better, and I’ve felt more confident. I wore a tank top to the gym (which I can hardly ever do). But if I can’t love my body now, how can I love it when I reach my goal weight? or “desired body” if I can’t love it now, then I won’t be able to ever accomplish a desired body. I want to be fit and lean. I want to be flexible and graceful.

All this is within me, not someone else. I need to look up to the person I can be, not a different person altogether.

I continuously look up to my higher self.

I am a better person than I was yesterday.

I am happy, healthy and free from holding myself back.

I let life flow through me.