All of what we read, all of what we see, hear and experience is what makes up our minds. What makes up our psyche, yet we are “free” to do as we please. How can we be free if everything we see, hear, learn experience is all making us believe or think in one way. 

Haven’t you noticed when you see a word, you start using that word for its meaning, but there are several words that could describe something yet, you choose that word because you just read it or saw it or heard it somewhere. Or a picture. If I tell you not to think about something – you think of it. And of course you’ve probably heard that before, why? Because there’s no original thought. Even the words I’m writing now you’ve heard before in some manner meaning the same thing but I’m writing them in a different way. WHats the point of anything is it’s already something? What’s the point of repeating things if it’s already happened? History repeats itself so is my life in this moment repeating all of eternity?  

I feel brainwashed – any book I read sounds corny to me. Like an adolescent and sex jokes… you just roll your eyes because you’ve heard it, done it and it’s annoying now. That how I feel about everything around me. But I can’t even stand to be around myself so where am I? 

I’m stuck between being brainwashed and freedom and freedom feels like it’s something I must do to conquer this irrationality of worlds…