So I started taking care of number one- me! The first thing is positive words, saying what you want has an effect on how you react. Every action has a reaction so if I say “I hope” instead of “I will” then I’m leaving room for failure. So first things first! I will become more intune with ME and I will succeed! Even if there is a bad day, I will continue to improve and set my life straight! No more negativity!
I got into a fight with the ex today but instead of hurting and yelling at him, I allowed myself to experience these emotions of hurt and pain and I understood that he too has pain hurt jealously etc. so instead of making it worse for Me I allowed myself to just let the hurt fill my lower body with fire and I let it go. Through out the whole conversation while he was angry with me, I continued to release this energy from the fire pit in my stomach and I just “was”. This fight/conversation I knew would end and I will continue to live while he would dwell and I felt sorry for him. What was done was done and I wasn’t going to go back to a relationship of ups and downs. I’m in it for me and thats what I’m doing.
Since this experience of realization- yesterday- I have been happy about everything. I met the most amazing person who taught me so much about how I need to do this and he has had amazing success with his. So I’m am “being” here in this moment right now as I write you at this coffee shop, I have no money, my phone and debit card was stolen I’m in large amounts of debt but I’m here and I’m enjoying writing to possibly be some help to someone somewhere. I will think about those problems, but it’s only a thing an action that I must do at some point. And I’m not doing it now – so why think about it other than tell you what I’m doing to help myself. I didn’t buy a smart phone, I bought an old flip phone. Why bother and waste my time on needless things that make me worry and waste my time. Yea people can post wonderful stuff but how does that help me when nothing is helpful to ME?!?
I will continue to live in this moment and I will enjoy my time here. I refuse to spend my time on useless things.