off meds… again?

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Why do I do this to myself? I go off, I go on? I dont know why I do this… I’m stupid I know but I just don’t want to be dependent on a pill that changes me… I should take them because it is a chemical imbalance. I quit smoking, I quit my meds, I’m in the middle of a divorce… I’m an idiot with all this stress… I don’t know what I’m thinking… but I can do this. I moved in with a Great friend. He is wonderful. But the adjustment is hard. Sigh. No therapy and my Doctor thinks I’m abusing my meds… and i’m not even taking them except to sleep and I can barley even do that right now… obviously because I am awake right now after 3 hours of sleep… sigh… I’m helpless… Whatever. I’m fat and ugly and gross and I’m just useless…

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